Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Journal Entry 21: I Do Love Thee

Okay... so this is going to seem like an overwhelming amount of EFY posts, but I've left out a lot of entries because they are either 1. Too personal  or 2. irrelevant. So.. with all of that editing taken out- we're now to page 11 of my 2nd journal (plus about an extra 15 pages that were stapled in) and we are on to my 4th EFY experience. This time I went by myself to the New York Special Edition EFY where we got to tour Church history sites in Palmyra, New York. This time I also brought my journal to EFY, so I have an entry for every day that I was there. So.. I'm going to attempt to shorten and limit it. It'll result in leaving full days out again, but I want to focus on the most pivotal moments...

"Hey Journal,
Today is Wednesday Aug 8, 2007. Today we went to the Sacred Grove & Hill Cummorah. First was the Sacred Grove. It was Amzing. So Beautiful! We went with our counselors and found a spot then spred out and did as we wanted. I first sat against a big tree (inbetween the roots) and read my scriptures. I read Joseph's accounting of the vision in JSH and some other random ones like one in D&C about angels and how someday the Earth will be Christ's and we will meet them and see them as personages like Joseph saw. I also knelt down and prayed. Prayed to know, prayed to feel the spirit and prayed to know that everything would be okay in my new area. The Sacred Grove felt just like a temple. President HInckley has said that it is like the 1st temple. It definately felt like one. While I was there the one thing that hit me was 'Michelle- I do love thee'. I know my Father in heaven loves me. It was a beautiful place. It was cool to imagine 14 year old Joseph in that grove with God and his Son Jesus Christ. The day was beautiful and the sun shinned through the trees and made light on the leaves and parts on the ground. It was cool to see Joseph & his family's house too. To imagine how it was and when things took place- like angel Moroni visiting Joseph. 
Me in the Sacred Grove
We went to Hill Cummorah after that. We ate lunch first and had our 'morning-side'. Brother Wilcox talked about how Joseph could not have been a liar and about missionary experiences... Then we went up the steep hill to the estimated place of the Golden Plates burrial. The view from that hill is amazing. It was cool to imagine both moroni and joseph climbing that same hill. We sat on the grass on the hill, took pictures, and talked...
A picture I took of the statue at the top of Hill Cummorah
and now it's free time, but it's almost dinner time so I'm going to go get ready. Love ya & I'll write later. 
<3/ Michelle Delta Curtin"
That moment in the Sacred Grove is the thing I remember most from this EFY. I remember being so frustrated that I wasn't having some major, divine, spiritual experience. I prayed really fervently for something  and what I got back was so simple, but so moving: "Michelle, I do Love thee!". My Father knows me, Michelle, and he loves me.

A week or so after getting back from EFY, my mom was listening to a Josh Groban CD in the car and that experience came back to mind very strongly. Ever since then, the song "You Are Loved" by Josh Groban, is one of my favorites. It puts into words, the experience I had in the Sacred Grove.

You are Loved.
Love Always,

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