Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Journal Entry 20: Personal Progress


So in church we have Young Womens for girls ages 12-17. In Young Womens we have 'Personal Progress'. It's a  program similar to the boys' Eagle Scout. Part of the Personal Progress requirements often included writing in your journal. I've skipped a lot of those, but this next one was longer and a little deeper- so here goes...
The best picture I could find of me from that month (Deep... I know...)
"Dear Journal,
Today is July 29th?, 2007. (Just in case you were wondering, I am 15- almost 16 years old. I will be a Sophmore when school starts. And I will be going to Dulaney Highschool). Today is a Sunday and I am way behind on my personal progress so I think I'm going to work on that. When I frist came into Young Women's I finished a whole bunch, but I haven't done any in a while so here we go:
Faith #4:
I was supposed to read a bunch of scripture and then 'establish a pattern of pondering during the sacrament'. I was to do this for 3 weeks then record some things in my journal (here). I've been slowly working on this one for a long time. I began to listen to the sacrament prayers and hymns more carefully. Though it was hard because my thoughts would wander to other things such as a stake dance the night before or homework I had to do- I still slowly began to realize the importance of the sacrament. It is the renuining of our baptismal covenences and we make many promises each time we take the sacrament on sundays. We promise to keep those covanences and also to 'always remember him' and all Christ has done for us. The sacrament seems routine to me who has been a member of the church my whole life, yet it is very important. The prayer must be done perfectly because it is so important. The hymns sung before are very powerful, particular and meaningul. By paying more attention I was able to remember a little better what christ had done and the promises I have made and covenented. 
Faith #5
For this one, I read many scriptures about the Savior, his sacrafices and how we need to repent. Now I am supposed to write in here my feelings about the Savior and all he has done for us. This is somewhat hard, because I can barely even take in the great sacrafice he made. Christ felt ALL of our pain and suffering. Both physical and emotional. Which means he has felt every bruise I've recieved from Fastpitch softball, every lonely moment such as lately- being all the way across the country from many close friends, every cut on my hands, every struggle to understand, he knows every pain, every struggle, every burden and every affliction. It's so amazing to even think about all he has done. Every time someone thinks or says 'No one even knows how I feel' they are wrong, because He does. Christ knows how everyone feels and he understands it, plus so much more than we can understand. There are many hymns that express this feeling of astonishment, but one comes to mind right now 'Then sings my soul- my Savior God to thee- how great thou art- how great thou art' He is very great. All he has done for me and every other single person is amazing. 'I scarce can take it in'. I struggle and don't always show my appreciation of all He did by what I do and say, but how grateful I really am, for how great he is. I am truely amazed!

In the personal progess book it also says 'you may want to share your feelings in a testimony meeting'. I have a hard time baring my testimony in front of people. I'm much better at doing it more subtly and in littiler ways. But I have born my testimony every year at EFY, because it is almost impossible not to (I feel I'm alsmost shoved up there by the spirit) and I am going to EFY next week so hopefully I will get another chance, and will be able to get myself to go up. But for now I better go, so I will write again later.

With Love,
Michelle"
It seemed tedious at the time, but the Personal Progress program is a wonderful thing. It really helped me do the things I needed to to keep my testimony progressing.
Love Always,
Michelle

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